Women and Bad Boys: What Is The Attraction?

"Bad Boys".
If you're a woman, you may be saying "hmmm" as you hear these words. You know you shouldn't, but you just can't help yourself.
There is just SOMETHING about these guys that draws you in, even as your head tells you to "beware"!
So, what exactly is the attraction? It's not necessarily that they are more physically attractive or smarter or more successful than the "nice guys". In fact, they can have fewer of these qualities, yet be harder to resist.
So what is it? Let's begin by defining these guys. This term is generally applied to males who treat women poorly. Do these behaviors ring a bell?
*calling at 8:30 on a Saturday night to ask if you want to get together
*not showing up for a date- followed by no phone call or apology
*never having any money when you are out
* forgetting or ignoring your birthday and other important dates
*flirting openly with other women when you are together
*hitting on your good friend(s)
*making booty calls at 1am, after they've had a night out with others
*is doing time for a serious felony
Instead of asking "what is it about these guys"; let's instead examine what it is about the women who can't resist them. The following are actual statements from women who have a history of attraction to these guys. See if any of these sound familiar.
* "It's never BORING with him. He's unpredictable and exciting."
* "He's strong, aggressive and self-assured; I feel safe with him."
* "It's not his fault; he's trying to get his life together."
* "I haven't met anyone else that makes me feel the way he does."
* "He's so charming and passionate."
* "He tells me how much he likes me, so he must really feel something for me."
* "He needs me."
* "He doesn't come across as needy and desperate."
* "I can't believe I've attracted someone like him."
Now, on the face of these, they seem pretty benign. We all seek at least some of these traits in the men we choose. So, where's the problem?
Essentially it's in his inability to meet the woman's fundamental needs. She is the one doing all (or most) of the giving. The question then lies in; "what's in it for her?"
The answer can be found by exploring three basic issues:
*level of self-esteem
*capacity for intimacy
*roles that she has been in throughout her life
If a woman feels good about herself, she chooses a mate who communicates both verbally and non-verbally to her that she is valued and respected. She won't allow this other person to undermine her positive self-worth. She believes in her ability to participate in a healthy, reciprocal relationship.
If she doesn't feel good about herself, she chooses someone who reinforces her negative self-beliefs.
If a woman is capable of true intimacy, she is open to the true availability of the other person. She wants him to be a full and active participant in the relationship. She can allow herself to be open, vulnerable and able to take as well as to receive all that true intimacy offers.
If intimacy is difficult, she choose someone who is distant, hard to connect with and not emotionally and/or physically available.
If a woman has had a healthy role in her relationships since childhood, she will choose someone with whom she can continue this healthy interaction.
If a woman has been too long in the role of rescuer, caregiver or the one who sacrifices for the good of others, this will probably be the role she will seek out in her relationships.
Fortunately, most women fall somewhere in between on these issues. So the task is to evaluate yourself in each area and decide on a course of action that will help you to choose a "nice guy", who stirs your senses and meets your needs while being truly available for a real relationship.
Begin with an assessment of what you value most in life and cannot live without.
Go to http://www.consum-mate.com/newslets/02oct.htm for an article on "clarifying and living your values".
Once you know what is most important to you and believe that you are worthy of achieving it, you will have taken a giant step towards finding the right partner for you.
Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach with over 20 years of experience. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune and The Orlando Sentinel newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, and Star magazines. She has been featured on ABC News; Discovery Health Channel and AOL Online. As a weekly contributing commentator on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO), Toni offers dating tips and relationship advice in response to listener feedback. Toni founded Consum-mate.com in 2002 to offer singles the knowledge and tools they need to find and sustain healthy, lasting love relationships. She is a member of The International Coach Federation, and The International Association Of Coaches.

Ironman Wisconsin Triathlon

The Madison area is host to the Ironman Wisconsin triathlon with more than 1,800 elite athletes from around the world are expected to participate. The rush of excitement is building as September 7th is fast approaching. Record attendance is expected this year, as this triathlon is one of the four sanctioned events in the United States.
The persistence of these men and women will be challenged to the fullest as their determination shines through. The 2.4-mile swimming loop will be in the incredible waters of beautiful Lake Monona. The biking portion is a 112-mile loop that stretches into the rural country backroads touching the entire town of Verona. Take time to visit this proud community as spectators stand on the curbs cheering the disciplined bikers as they flash by. Verona’s festival last year alone attracted over 20,000 people and was likened to the “Tour de France”. The pumped-up pedalers will also be racing through Mount Horeb and Cross Plains. The final 26.2 miles is the running portion that tests the endurance of each individual. This part of the course will take the triathletes through scenic parks, historical sites and local attractions such as the University of Madison.Ironman North America and Wisconsin Sports Development Corporation should stand tall as the lead organizations that brought this exciting event to our magnificent state. Their generous sponsors and ambitious volunteers deserve credit for sharing their efforts in setting up water and first aid stations along the way, coordinating shuttles and lodging, working with local and state officials, and their endless generosities could go on. Thanks for helping make this triathlon run so smoothly. If you are unable to attend, don’t feel left out. You will be able to view the Ironman Wisconsin on various regional stations throughout the state and on National TV stations: ESPN, the Outdoor Life Channel and CNN.The vigorous training of each triathlete should be commended. The mindset to push oneself to attempt an Ironman triathlon goal is exhilarating. Each contestant should embrace the honor of participating in this inspiring event. The hard work and time spent in developing these awarding-winning talents to accomplish their dream is the true reward.

Now Earn a Living with Your Home Based Pet Business Opportun

Headline: Now Earn a Living with Your Home Based Pet Business Opportunity A pet business opportunity may be for you if you like animals and are looking to own your own business. People everywhere have pets and there are so many aspects for business opportunities available that you can easily choose something your comfortable with. Pets are universal. Odds are, you have one or maybe more pets in your own home. For most people, their pets are a part of their family and are treated accordingly. Pet stores, boutiques, groomers, sitters, bakeries and specialty shops are booming businesses in this day and age. Many of these pet business opportunities could easily translate into a home based or small business for the willing entrepreneur. Pet sitting for example, is a pet business opportunity that can be done as a home based business. Many people who live in both rural and city environments look every year for someone to care for pets when they are away on vacation or business trips. People who live in apartment complexes look for someone to walk their dog everyday. Pet sitting can be started with a low investment. Getting your name and business known will be a large part of your expenses. Advertising in local publications is a good way to start and never under estimate the power of the web. More and more often people are turning to the Internet for local products and services. In some locations, you will have to be bonded, and it is a good idea to provide solid references and prior experience to your potential clients. On a larger scale, pet stores are cropping up everywhere you look. Although you will have a much larger overhead with a pet business opportunity of this kind, you may find the benefits more rewarding. Having a stable location and a potentially bigger advertising budget will aid in the attraction of customers. There are also many animal business opportunities that can be done online. Owning a virtual pet supply store for example, will cut back on your overhead if you are interested in opening a pet store without having to rent or buy a facility. Also, on the web, you can provide information regarding the different pets and different pet care that is required. This is a good way to enlist the trust of your clients.An unusual pet business opportunity that has become quite common is the animal boutique. People all over the world have dressed up their pooches and kitties in outfits ranging from prom dresses to biker vests. Don't forget the reptiles and rodents that sport fancy collars and harnesses. This would be a specialized example of a pet store that can be done in the general public or online as well!Another prime example of a pet business opportunity that would translate easily from the public to the web would be the animal bakery. The public spends thousands of dollars every year on special treats and cookies for their beloved pets of all breeds. This would be a fun and satisfying endeavor for the chef or nutritionist too!Pet grooming is another alternative pet business opportunity that is widely popular today. Depending on what type of establishment you plan to start will depend on the educational investment you need to make. If you just want to bathe animals, you will not need much education on the different breeds. However, if you are looking to provide a more comprehensive business to a wide variety of breeds, you will need more information and possibly some professional training. Of course with any business, be it home based or out in the general public, you will need to research your legal requirements, such as taxes and licenses. Most cities and counties will have restrictions and applicable laws pertaining to pet businesses, so do your homework. If you are looking for a career change and already have pet experience, then the market is primed for you to enter into a pet business opportunity of your own. Even the novice pet owner can walk a dog. Animals are a permanent part of our culture and existence. There will always be a need for those with pet experience - even if that experience does not include buying sunglasses for your iguana!